may your 2014 be full of blah blah blah…..incessant meaningless inspirational quote…...

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If they don't have a strokey-looking animatronic Dick Clark on TV tonight, I'm going to be super pissed

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wife sent me to a hockey game for my birthday

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that's a very tardis-y shade of blue.....

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I'm going to be out of town so I got to open a birthday present early. Stones on clear vinyl. awesome.

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I'm going to be out of town so I got to open a birthday present early. Stones on clear vinyl. awesome.

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being a single mom isn’t easy…..

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I just realized that I don't know what day of the week it is

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I'd rather have a bullet pushed through my skull

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Mexican dude with his family at McDonald's is wearing this amazing belt buckle

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Mexican dude with his family at McDonald's is wearing this amazing belt buckle

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almost 5 years old and it still looks good. #VW #GTI #JustEmissionsTestDontWorry

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happy national-take-back-the-crap-you-don’t-want-day! may the return policy be forever in your favor.

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I think my niece's toy is made from people......

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as I look at photos on Facebook today I can't help but think "holy shit, people waste all kinds of money on overpriced crap for their kids"

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my parents don't have cable. thank God for the TBS app. #AChristmasStory

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my parents don't have cable. thank God for the TBS app. #AChristmasStory

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#VinylChristmas

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merry christmas

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my parent's dog is wearing a FKR shirt

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it's officially Christmas. thanks TBS.

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this is how santa deals with it all..........

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just as we started some christmas eve morning sexy time, my dog decides he wants to say hello by puking on the bed. thanks gizmo.

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my drug dealing neighbor just said to me “hey, nice sneaks.” so, yeah, i’m pretty gangster now…...

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what is on your Christmas list?

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my nephew can't say megan, he calls my wife "bacon." so her Christmas gift from him is wrapped in bacon wrapping paper

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my nephew can't say megan, he calls my wife "bacon." so her Christmas gift from him is wrapped in bacon wrapping paper

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these two items are required to have a good Christmas

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these two items are required to have a good Christmas

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nice start to the day.....

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welcome to america where you’re allowed to have any opinion you want. unless, of course, it is an unpopular opinion. then, shut up.

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#Turntable is kicking ass this morning

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this couple is sitting in the mall and just watching the people walk by

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this couple is sitting in the mall and just watching the people walk by

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maintenance man is working on apartment and flirting with my wife. she's eating it up. must be the manly smell of sweat and felonies...

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Christmas card from my boss

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Christmas card from my boss

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remember the little girl from 'little miss sunshine'? she grew up......

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the only elf on the shelf photo that has ever made me laugh

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repossess auto sales?

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repossess auto sales?

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co worker just walked in and handed me this. awesome.

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co worker just walked in and handed me this. awesome.

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if you've been wondering when all of this duck dynasty stuff will finally go away, you can mark down today as the beginning of the end.

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#ThrowbackThursday #Santa

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#ThrowbackThursday #Santa

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#InstaDog

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sometimes i see someone post about something bad that is happening to them, and while others comment about sending thoughts and prayers their way, all i can think is "they are terrible people and they deserve for this horrible thing to happen to them"

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i want to see the car that they don't want to get messed up............

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merry christmas!

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i love my job except on days like today: i woke up with a miley cyrus song in my head. i’m trying to wash it out with metal...

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I look like a trombone player in a ska band

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I look like a trombone player in a ska band

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this text from my wife has a lot of potential for comedy

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sounds like something you order at a bad car-themed restaurant

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sounds like something you order at a bad car-themed restaurant

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\m/

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